How do I pray?

5 min

Awaiting theological review

What you will understand today

What prayer is, how Jesus taught his friends to pray, and how to begin even if you have never prayed.

In simple words

Prayer is simply talking with God — and listening. A classic definition says it is raising your mind and heart to God. You do not need special words, a special place or a special feeling.

Jesus prayed often, sometimes alone through the night. When his disciples asked him to teach them, he gave them the Our Father: it begins by calling God Father, then asks for his kingdom, for bread for today, for forgiveness and for help in temptation.

Christians pray in many ways: with words learned by heart, in their own words, by slowly reading a Gospel passage, or in silence. The Catechism compares the prayer of silence to time spent with a friend who you know loves you. What matters most is that the heart is present.

Key Bible passage

The prayer Jesus himself taught — the one Christians of every Church still share.

⁹Thus therefore shall you pray: Our Father who art in heaven, hallowed be thy name. ¹⁰Thy kingdom come. Thy will be done on earth as it is in heaven. ¹¹Give us this day our supersubstantial bread. ¹²And forgive us our debts, as we also forgive our debtors. ¹³And lead us not into temptation. But deliver us from evil. Amen.
Matthew 6:9–13 · Douay-Rheims 1899 American Edition

Four ways to pray

Praise
God, you are good
Thanks
Thank you for…
Sorry
Forgive me for…
Asking
Please help me, and help them

Go deeper

The Catechism describes three ways of praying: vocal prayer, with words; meditation, thinking and imagining with a text; and contemplative prayer, simply being with God in love. Most people move between them over a lifetime.

One old method of praying with Scripture is lectio divina: read a short passage slowly, notice a word that strikes you, speak to God about it, and then rest in silence. Ten minutes are enough to begin.

Prayer is also a struggle. Distractions, dryness and the feeling that nothing happens are normal. Saints and ordinary believers alike say that perseverance matters more than feelings: God is at work even when we do not notice.

Questions people ask

Does God answer every prayer?

Jesus promises that the Father hears us and gives good things. Sometimes the answer is yes, sometimes not yet, sometimes something different from what we asked — as with Jesus himself in Gethsemane.

Is it wrong to pray for things for myself?

No. Jesus taught us to ask for our daily bread. Prayer of petition is a sign that we depend on God; it is good to pray for others too, and to give thanks.

How long should I pray?

Start small and be regular: five minutes every day is better than an hour once a month. Many people tie prayer to a moment of the day, like waking up or going to bed.